Can you skate? Know how to hold a hockey stick? The Ottawa Senators want YOU to play defence for them.

This is getting to be re-goddamn-diculous.

Forget about the clean, christian-like, penalty-free performance by the Bruins, complete with late pesky goal nut punch by Dennis Seidenberg to seal the home team loss. A loss that snapped the Sens three-game winning streak and extended the Bruins winning streak on SBP ice, all the way back to the Dany Heatley era. Forget about all that.

Yet another defenceman was lost to injury in the process – assist-streak, record-breaking, Ginch Gonchar. After a nondescript shift in the back half of the third frame, Gonchar left the match with some unknown ailment. MacLean promises to reveal the mystery at some point today. If you’re counting at home, there are now FOUR gaping holes on the Sens back-end (and how!) – Karlsson, Cowen, Methot, and Gonchar. The remaining healthy guys – Wiercioch, Benoit, Phillips, Gryba, and Lundin (who stepped in from concussion-land just yesterday). It doesn’t get much uglier than that (no disrespect to the “chosen ones” who have evaded the icy floors of the infirmary and done an admirable job under the circumstances).

Bryan Murray has to be wracking his brain for short-term solutions. Call up Brett Lebda from Bingo – he has NHL experience. Outside help – trade, waivers? A guy like Dan Boyle, who’s name has been tossed around, could be a thing. Ottawa fellow, pretty great at defence, expensive, but..?

Classified advertisement, baby.

Can you point at people (forwards), indicating where you want them to go? Can you prevent people from standing in front of other people? Would you describe your personality as “shutdown charm” or “offensive wit”? Are you able to take a hit to make a play? Can you…

Held together by tape and twine, the Sens prevail again

Through 2 periods, that game against the Islanders could be described as this,

Down 3-1, and that wasn’t the worst part – Marc Methot, knocked out of the game in an awkward board play – another injury, another blow to a defence already comprised of 50% AHL talent. The prognosis on Methot wasn’t/isn’t yet known, early/unconfirmed reports (@aaronward_NHL) indicate a mild knee sprain.

Seeing Methot go down, that firmiliar acidy feeling forming in the back of the throat, and  – oh god, Gryba is going to get more minutes(!)

Here’s the thing about Eric Gryba, bad things happen to the Senators net when he is on the ice – he handles 20+ minutes like a train disaster. Personally, I don’t know that he can effectively play more than 15 minutes a game. As it turns out, he played 21:22 last night, typical for him. He was (directly) responsible for at least one goal against and one almost goal against (kicked in).

Despite the shitstorm, they managed to Macgyver their way to victory in the third – Silfverberg, Smith, Gonchar, and #guyet into an empty cage – four unanswered, completely tabula rasaing the previous 40 minutes. Pesky? Heck yes.

Phillips and especially Gonchar, Sergei Gonchar, were the bee’s knees. Gonchar finshed with a goal, two apples, +5, 25:44, and a (new) moniker – “Benjamin Button” — assumably because he has a small, Russian baby face.

Even if the national sports media don’t properly acknowledge it, those of us who follow this team regularly know how special this whole thing is - because it is super special! On a day when Michalek had his knee surgically scoped out and Methot bunged up his knee, the Sens reeled off their 6th straight at-least-one-point game (4-0-2 in that stretch) and third consecutive win. 16-8-6. Keep on, keepin’ on!

Capital gains, indeed.

Other notes:

- New Ottawa Senator, Matt Kassian scored a goal on a sweet tip last night, but still has yet to chuck the knucks? Remember when goals were impossible to come by for this squad?

- According to Sportsnet, Ben Bishop has already been traded twice.

- no. No. NO. NO. NO. NO! NOOOO!!!!!11